Big Review: The Smithfield Tavern, vegetarian pub in Clerkenwell

On a rare daytime sojourn to Clerkenwell, we skirted Smithfield’s famous meat market, searching for a lunch spot. Something not too grand, but not too sandwichy. The Smithfield Tavern looked to fit the bill, its attractively battered trad-boozer interior offering a break from all the frantic lunch hour rituals of the street outside.

The menu differentiates itself stridently, being wholly vegetarian, indeed often vegan. And in that respect it certainly stands out against the carnivorous bonanza of its neighbours. Of the two schools of veggie specialists, this one is firmly in the dishes that mimic meat camp, as opposed to that of dishes unashamedly celebrating vegetables.

That’s a pity, particularly in this location, where a fresh, creative veg menu would make for a real alternative for diners of all persuasions. Instead, they have attempted the far more difficult task of making mock meat (almost inevitably involving highly processed soya products) taste anything like its ‘real’ equivalent, the finest specimens of which can be sourced readily a few short metres away.

Still, with my own recently fallen vegetarian status ensuring a strangely comprehensive expertise in this culinary area, it was an intriguing prospect. The unusual sounding tofu masala steak wasn’t available, so we plumped for a faux fish n’ chips and a surrogate sausage n’ mash instead.

It was immediately evident that both mains had spent quite a bit longer than was strictly necessary in the deep fat fryer. The tofu-based battered ‘fish’ was especially bland and had also become slightly toughened by all that frying, sheets of seaweed not really making up for the lack of flaky texture, or indeed doing much for the flavour. Overly brown chips added little to the party. I suppose the average vegetarian would be happy enough to plough through this if it was wrapped in newspaper, with fish-eating friends (rather than suffer the usual seaside town fate of just having the chips), but it wasn’t offering much to love here perched next to frozen peas and a sweet tartare.

Handmade sausages, based in this instance on nuts and root veg rather than the ubiquitous tofu, came comprehensively blackened by all that frazzling. The crisp outer layer giving way to potato-like innards, not ideal when sat atop yet more potato and not remotely close to a ‘real’ sausage in anything but shape. A bit of kale and some mysterious gravy could not liven it up, while the onion rings offered yet more fryer-based calories for little return on taste.

It’s difficult to work out what is trying to be achieved here. Decent vegan options remain hard to find even in London’s dynamic dining environment, so the purists will actively seek this place out (assuming – somewhat hopefully – that they don’t have a problem with all the carcasses being wheeled about outside). But for the casual diner, the tofu’ed up pub grub options are going to be little more than an annoyance, especially when what emerges is so strikingly mediocre, by anyone’s dietary standards.

It’s a shame, as the current fixation with posh fast food certainly leaves room for a few en vogue veg interpretations, served in cool old boozers. Yet from conception to delivery, the Smithfield Tavern seems to have missed the mark.

We wandered out a little bemused. Perhaps it’s a conspiracy; cunning nearby wholesale butchers promoting just the kind of vegetarian food that makes people stay faithful to a carnivorous diet?

I’m still passionate about being veggie as much as possible, but on this occasion, there was little to to take pride in by sticking with the tofu.

Words: Tom Kihl