North London Food & Culture

Have you lost someone to their smartphone?

Are some of us dangerously addicted to our devices, or are we collectively just struggling with etiquette and self-control in a brave new world of constant digital distractions?

Kentish Town-based documentary filmmaker Sarah Feilden is making a series for Channel 4 entitled Have You Lost Someone to the Internet? Photo: Stephen Emms
Kentish Town-based documentary filmmaker Sara Feilden is making a TV series entitled Have You Lost Someone to the Internet? Photo: Stephen Emms

Smartphones aren’t just changing how we read the news, find a partner or buy our groceries, they’re having a dramatic effect on how we relate to each other and the world around us too. From the stroppy teen locked away for hours with a joystick in their bedroom, to the high-flying parent unable to stop poking out emails during dinner, we’ve all seen the negative impact unchecked online time can have on good, old fashioned human interaction.

But is there a time when the infuriating blank expressions and lack of focus common to those enthralled by the screen goes beyond an annoyance and becomes a serious, perhaps pathological problem? The Americans are, of course, ahead of the field here, offering plenty of acronyms which require some form of expensive therapy. There’s IAD (internet addiction disorder), also known more forgivingly as PIU (problematic internet use) or for the hardcore, how about CIU (compulsive internet use).

As with anything that fires up the reward centres in our brains, there is the potential for its repeat, wilfully thrillseeking (or just plain old obsessive) use to be labelled ‘addictive’ and for tabloid hysteria to ensue. This isn’t very helpful, particularly where internet technologies are concerned, as they are all pervading in our lives and will only continue to become so.


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What we really need is a whole new set of personal and social rules of etiquette. The problem is that the technology is developing so fast, we simply don’t have time to let this arrive organically. Parents are hopeless at teaching their kids, often setting a terrible or contradictory example with their own device use. Schools and workplaces try to ban social media rather than explore its advantages, and the biggest companies in the world (your Apples, Googles and Microsofts) simply fan the flames, designing an ever more distracting array of feeds and alerts popping up on every screen or buzzing away incessantly in our pockets.

Kentish Town-based documentary filmmaker Sarah Feilden is making a series for TV entitled Have You Lost Someone to the Internet? It will feature individuals who feel their relationship is suffering because their partner or child spends too much time online. If that sounds familiar, she’s keen to hear from you (see box below).

“The jury is out as to whether there is such a thing as internet addiction,” she says, honestly. “But what is clear to most of us, is that some people are particularly vulnerable to gaming, shopping, gambling or just plain surfing the internet. This can take up huge tranches of their time and money, and may well not just be affecting them but will be impacting on the lives of their loved-ones too.”

Self-policing our online/offline time really is a big challenge, and if you think things are annoying now, wait until ‘wearable tech’, such as the forthcoming Google Glass, means there won’t even be the need to pull phone out of pocket in order for the alerts and distractions to flood our brains.

And while we may try to set personal parameters, the devices continue to encroach via shear convenience (I’ve always tried to avoid phone use in bed, but now I have an app which controls the central heating, it’s almost irresistible not to have the phone on the bedside table for those cold winter mornings.)

Our attention spans are certainly, irrevocably shifting, and there will be victims along the way. Ultimately we will adapt, because we have no choice. And most of us can probably learn to handle our internet habit. Like this morning’s cup of coffee, who hasn’t enjoyed a digital hit from email, Facebook (or that central heating app already) today?

As Sara says, “is the fundamental difference between excessive enthusiasm and addiction that the former add to life whereas the latter take away from it?”

Lost a friend or a family member to their computer or smartphone? Please contact Sara on info@stopstart.tv. All email correspondence will be treated in the strictest confidence.

Do you feel addicted to the internet yourself? We’d love our net-savvy readers to answer a handful of questions for a follow-up story…



1 thought on “Have you lost someone to their smartphone?”

  1. My missus sits at home looking like ‘Whistlers Mother’ with a smart phone. She must have a third eye on the top of her head – she only looks up when I turn the Tv over and hoots about watching what was on the other side.
    Mind you after 17 years its better than talking to her…

Leave a Comment

1 thought on “Have you lost someone to their smartphone?”

  1. My missus sits at home looking like ‘Whistlers Mother’ with a smart phone. She must have a third eye on the top of her head – she only looks up when I turn the Tv over and hoots about watching what was on the other side.
    Mind you after 17 years its better than talking to her…

Leave a Comment

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The award-winning print and online title Kentishtowner was founded in 2010 and is part of London Belongs To Me, a citywide network of travel guides for locals. For more info on what we write about and why, see our About section.