Pic by Ellie Baskett
Mrs Kentishtowner is not a happy bunny. Her younger, dare we say sexier sibling, Miss KT, has just moved into a gorgeous warehouse building slapbang in the heart of NW5.
‘It’s your own fault.’ She poked her tongue out at her older sister. ‘That stupid blog thing you write made it sound too good.’
‘But what’s wrong with Hackney?’ screamed Mrs Kentishtowner, adopting a firmer line than Angela Merkel at an EU summit. ‘Isn’t that where all the young people flock to?’
‘Plus,’ she continued, on a roll now, ‘if you’d actually taken the time to read the damn thing, you’d realize I don’t actually write it. Still, since you’re local you may as well make yourself useful.’
It was agreed that Miss KT would contribute some words to said family blog. ‘It’ll be about celebrities,’ she muttered darkly, over the din of Sunday night’s X Factor. ‘You know, spotteds.’
And she wasn’t kidding. Fast forward a few days an here are some she’s already clocked *clears throat*:
‘Loose Women presenter Carol McGiffin, having a drink at The Abbey with her toyboy; Noel Fielding, in his circulation-restricting jeans and pointy boots; The Inbetweeners’ Simon Bird at arguably KT’s coolest pub, The Pineapple; actor Bill Nighy striding down Leighton Road, nose in the air; gorgeous Jude with his kids at the Talacre Sports Centre; Billie Piper, turning onto Haverstock Hill with Lawrence Wotsisface; Julian Barratt walking his kids to school; and – my absolute favourite – 80s legend Pat Sharp being dragged along by his bulldogs.’
Wow. Give the girl a job at Heat.
‘But before you think you’re tapping into the zeitgeist,’ warned a clearly rattled Mrs Kentishtowner, ‘I’ll have you know that NW5’s celeb-appeal is no recent thing. Even Karl Marx loved a bit of West Kentish Town. In fact, he still resides, of course, in nearby Highgate.’ And with that she stomped off for a warm scotch egg at the Bull & Last.
OK, so that doesn’t look like a warm scotch egg
Readers, we need some help. Have you seen an indie band member, pre-Forum gig, wandering down Kentish Town Road in a “refreshed state” (mentioning no names, Evan Dando)? Snapped Giles Coren sheepishly leaving Rio’s at a questionable hour? Or Tracey Thorn selecting a gown in Blustons? If so, let us know below. The funniest spot will win a Hitherto Unidentified Gift.
(And no, boys, that’s not a date with Miss KT. She’s hitched already. Well, kind of. Put it this way, it’s complicated.)
Words by Ellie Baskett & Stephen Emms.
Want to write for The Kentishtowner? Email kentishtowner@gmail.com
6 thoughts on “Uh-oh. Miss KT is in town.”
One Sunday I stepped outside my house on Torriano Avenue with my parents en route to a Sunday lunch, and my mother asks, who is that tall man with a hat, swaying his way down the pavement. Father goes, why has he just stopped to peer at the spokes of a Jaguar with such intent and jesus, why is the woman with him so thin. I reply, *sigh* that would be Pete Doherty. My parents go, who?! Oh the front man of a band I saw play at the Forum the other week for a reunion gig and no that isn’t Kate Moss.
Then many months later, myself and a lady friend are getting on our bikes outside the house, and who should pitch up and fall out of a taxi on his way to the Torriano bar, but Pete Doherty again. My lady friend had just bought a new bike and thus from that night on it was christened ‘Pete’
The waitresses at Kentish Canteen fluttering around Alistair Campbell in shorts & flip-flops was a good one.
Spotted Charles Dance on the High Street with his Sunday papers. Love the blog by the way!
Charles Dance: impressive. But what was his choice of rag?
Oops, just read that it was meant to be funny. Sorry, mine ain’t so!
I’ve spotted Charles Dance twice, once when I was sitting outside The Oxford having a pint (he was buying fruit from the lovely people outside the Co-operative) and another time wandering round the corner of Leighton Road on his way down Kentish Town Road! Both times I wanted to tell him how much I liked him in Alien 3. Love the site by the way!