Ich Bin Kentishtowner: Matt Roper, 35, Comedian

Matt Roper, 35, is a Tufnell Park-based comedian best known for his creation of Wilfredo, a character comedy phenomenon who has gained a cult following on the UK music festival scene and at the Edinburgh Fringe. He’s off touring in southeast Asia all April-May, then appearing at the Cape Town Comedy Festival in June, before back for the UK summer festival circuit in July.

Where would you like to live?
Just around the corner on Leverton Street, please. Then I can truly be a Kentishtowner. At the minute, I’m just a humble Tufnellparker.

What is your favourite sound or smell?
The first coffee of the day, as it bubbles and brews in my kitchen.

What is your greatest life achievement?
Old friends. Is that an achievement? I’m not sure. I haven’t really achieved anything of note, apart from a large bill from the taxman and a few frosty looks from ex-girlfriends.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
To listen to my instincts.

When were you happiest?
Barefoot, living on Kudle Beach, India.

What is your earliest K-Town memory?
Sitting under a canopy sipping espresso at Cafe Renoir on a hot summer’s day.

What makes you unhappy?
A council tax demand. There’s something about the word ‘demand’ that sits uncomfortably with me.

What simple thing would improve your quality of life?
Getting a decent night’s sleep.

What is your most unappealing habit?
Not getting enough proper sleep, because I can get very tetchy. I smoke too, unfortunately.

What is your guilty pleasure?
Falling into the Pineapple by accident, especially this time of year, when I can enjoy a Guinness or two with friends in front of the fire. I’m not too keen on the old-school closing time they seem to stick to though. The Standard recently ran a list of London’s ‘Top 1000 Most Powerful People’. Powerful they might be, but I doubt any of them could get served in the Pineapple once the last bell has gone.

Where do you hang out?
In the daytime, Mario’s every once in a while. But he closes far too early for me. Cafe Rustique sometimes, if I can get past all the bloody pushchairs. The little caipirinha bar on Ferdinand Street on a Sunday night can be magical, then it’s on to the Elephant’s Head where the DJ plays Northern Soul until 2am.

Who or what do you hate and why?
I don’t hate anybody, really. But I’d say in terms of vanity, recklessness and for his total indifference to the poor, it’s pretty hard not to despise George Osborne. And I’m not so keen on comedians who earn themselves an enormous wage through touring and dvd sales, and then choose to stick their noses in the trough, on Rupert Murdoch’s payroll. Why would you write a column for one of his papers when you don’t need the money? Out of the club. I think Bill Hicks would have accused them of sucking something somewhere.

What do you most dislike about your appearance?
I have the feet of a hobbit. They’re ugly. But at least they don’t work for Rupert Murdoch. Let it go, Matty, let it go.

Where would you live if you could live anywhere in London and why?
I like it right here actually. There’s enough happening but not quite enough to get me into too much trouble. Sometimes I think I’d like to live right in the heart of Soho, but thankfully I can’t afford to. It’d be a slippery slope.

What has your career taught you?
Nothing. I’ve taught it everything it knows.

What is your favourite dish and why?
Anything from India, but Gujarati food in particular. And proper fish and chips.

Describe yourself as an animal.
A monkey. They’re playful and curious. Also, I eat a lot of bananas.

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